Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
