Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
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