we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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