your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Randomize
