She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
