she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
