everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
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