please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
