We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
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