4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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