he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
Randomize
