so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Randomize
