Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
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