Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
