it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
and she was petting her beer can
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize
