So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Randomize
