i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Randomize
