Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
