the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
We need a shit load of segways right now
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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