Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Randomize
