once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
