That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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