First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
