there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
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