I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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