I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
