i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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