Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
