If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
She's the barista slut.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Let's get the cat blown out
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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