I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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