He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
