My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Randomize
