im gay
i know
yea but for you.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Randomize
