Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
