I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Randomize
