where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
