Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
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