Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Randomize
