No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Randomize
