found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Randomize
