These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
