first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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