Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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