to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
