mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
