Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
