Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
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