I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Sorry my hands just texted you
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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