We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
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