His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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