Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
